HomeBirthday Wishes100+ Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

100+ Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

Celebrating your birthday calls for something extra special, and what’s better than the gift of laughter? Sure, a tangible present is great, but a good laugh is a close second! Brighten up your loved one’s birthday card with one of our funny birthday wishes. It’s an easy way to add a touch of happiness and make their day a whole lot brighter. After all, a little humor can go a long way in making birthdays unforgettable!

Funny Happy Birthday Wishes

  • It’s your birthday, you know what that means. Time for you to smile awkwardly while friends and family botch your birthday song. Good times!
  • It’s time to get this party started! But seriously, let’s get a move on—we both know you can’t stay up past 10 p.m.
  • Happiest of birthdays to the “she” to my “nanigans”!
  • Forget about the past you can’t change, the future you can’t predict and definitely forget about the present because I didn’t get you one. Happy birthday!
  • You know, you’ve just turned the perfect age. You’re old enough to recognize your mistakes but young enough to make a few more more.
  • On your birthday I thought I’d just let you in on a little secret. One minute, you’re young and fun. The next, you have a favorite burner on the stove. I think we both know which you are…Happy birthday!
  • A little advice on your special day: There is no shame in the Botox game. Happy birthday!
  • I can’t figure out if life is passing us by or trying to run us over. Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday! I’m really glad you were born today. My life would be so totally boring without you there to watch.
  • A friend like you is like a good bra, supportive, hard to find, and always getting on my last nerve. But hey, can’t live without ‘em. Happy birthday!
  • Don’t think of it as aging, think of it as leveling up. Congratulations and here’s to a great year ahead!
  • On your birthday don’t forget to set goals that are sky high and spend the rest of the year miserably trying to build a rocket to get there.
  • Wow, look at you growing up and having birthdays! Adulting looks good on you.
  • Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday, rock star!
  • Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over. Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday! Can you believe we used to think people our age were adults and had their life in order?
  • Everyone gets to be young once. Today it’s official, your turn is over.
  • Here’s wishing you the happiest birthday with all of my butt! (Why would I say “with all my heart” when my butt is definitely bigger.)
  • I can only hope to be as great a woman as you one day. But, obviously with better clothes. Happy birthday!
  • It’s your birthday! You’re now a year closer to being that old guy who yells at kids to get off his lawn.
  • I regret to inform you that your childhood has now expired.
  • It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.
  • Happy beer-thday, bud.
  • I mean, you have ME so I don’t know what else you have to wish for… but go off I guess… Happy birthday!
  • Whatever you do, don’t let aging get you down. It’s way too hard to get back up again!
  • If it’s any consolation, in whiskey years you’re just getting tastier. Happy birthday!
  • Good thing I found you! Because to be honest, I think we both know you couldn’t find glasses if they were on your face girly. Happy birthday!
  • Is it hotter in here than usual? Must be all the candles on your cake. Happy birthday!
  • Here’s to getting as lit as the candles on your cake today!
  • Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you buzzed on your birthday. Good thing I’m the second kind.
  • When did our wild oats turn into shredded wheat?
  • Happy Birthday to someone who is comparable to fine wine and cheese. You just get better with age, lady!
  • A lady never reveals her age. Yeah, that sounds right. Happy birthday, lady!
  • Happy birthday! Remember, age is just a number, but wrinkles are real estate for wisdom!
  • If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas. Happy birthday!
  • Well done – you have still been alive for several years!
  • If we were living back in Salem in 1692, you totally would have been deemed a witch. And so would I. It’s why we click so well. Happy birthday witchy!
  • You don’t look a day over 16! From a distance, with my eyes closed. Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday! May your heart today be as full as your Facebook wall will be with birthday messages from people you’ve never spoken to.
  • I smell old people! Oh, wait no that’s just you. Happy birthday!
  • To an amazing friend on their birthday, my only regret is not meeting you sooner so I could have annoyed you longer. Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday to the only person I would rescue in the event of a zombie apocalypse.
  • Happy Birthday, old man. So glad you’re still alive and cake-ing!
  • Older? For sure. Wiser? Not so much. Happy Birthday, bro!
  • What did the bald guy say when he got a comb for his birthday? Thanks, I’ll never part with it.
  • They say to take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a whole bunch of salt, and bonus points if it accompanies a very large margarita. Make yours a double. Happy birthday!
  • Congrats on surviving another year! Just remember, at your age, it’s important to start using your blinker when changing lanes… in the grocery store!
  • Happy Birthday, big guy! Don’t forget to iron the wrinkles out of that birthday suit.
  • Remember, age is like underwear – it creeps up on you when you least expect it. But at least you can change your age on Facebook.
  • For your birthday, I wanted to give you something that was absolutely wonderful, but then I remembered you already have me.
  • May all your birthday wishes come true —except for the illegal ones!
  • If you were my Uber driver, I’d totally give you five stars. Happy birthday!
  • Happy Easter. Christmas. Independence Day. You know what? Just eat your darn cake!
  • Happy birthday! You don’t look a day older than dirt!
  • Happy birthday to a dude who isn’t showing his age—or acting it, either.
  • Happy birthday! It’s lit—just like your candles!
  • A quick reminder on your special day… well-behaved women rarely make history. So, this year, let’s go even crazier! Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday to one old lady who still knows how to party! You rock!
  • May you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming.
  • You might be prehistoric, but at least you’re not extinct! Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday. I hope your day is as nice as your face.
  • Congratulations on getting slightly older!
  • Happy birthday! Super glad you were born.
  • Some call it grounds for a stint in the mental hospital, we call it your special sparkle. Happy birthday!
  • Happy birthday to a lifelong friend! I can’t wait until we’re old enough to be terrorizing the senior home nurses together!
  • Birthdays are just like golf—if you don’t keep count it’s a lot more fun.
  • It’s your birthday, the anniversary of the day you triumphantly escaped from your mother’s womb. So, that’s pretty cool.
  • Happy birthday! I hope you celebrate this birthday the way you celebrated the first one: naked and screaming.
  • It’s so great that my crazy really vibes with your weird. Happy birthday!
  • Your birthday is the perfect excuse to get drunk on a weekday. Bottoms up!
  • They say take every birthday with a grain of salt. I say take it with a fully rim of salt on a very large margarita.
  • I’d give you my last chicken nugget. That’s really saying something. Happy Birthday!
  • Right, let’s get you so drunk that you end up believing it’s my birthday and buying me drinks all night
  • It’s your party and you’ll cry if you want to; however, I don’t recommend it. You’ll ruin your makeup, and we will be taking a lot of pictures tonight. Happy birthday!
  • Your big day is becoming a serious fire hazard. Blow them out! Quick! Oh, and happy birthday!
  • Every day we celebrate you… but today, you get a card.
  • If you were Jesus, today would be Christmas!
  • If anyone calls you old this birthday, don’t worry about it. Just hit him with your cane and throw your dentures at him.
  • Happy birthday! I think it’s great how you used to be young.
  • Here’s to another year of questionable life decisions! Happy birthday queen
  • You know you’ve hit middle age when your back is hairier than your head.
  • A wise person once said, “Forget about your past, you cannot change it.” I’d like to add: “Forget about your present, I didn’t get you one!”
  • Pst, don’t grow up! It’s a trap. Happy birthday!
  • For your special day, I’ve sent you a truly gracious present. It’s a ghost hug! You can’t feel it, but it is definitely there! Happy Birthday!
  • Friends celebrate friends on their birthdays. Real friends get you drunk on your birthday. Good thing for you, I’m the second kind.
  • I’ve already alerted the fire department, so go ahead and light the candles on your cake.
  • May your social media pages be filled with birthday wishes from people you’ve never met, haven’t seen in years or genuinely couldn’t care less about.
  • A true friend remembers your birthday, but not your age.
  • Knock, knock. Who’s there? Abby. Abby who? Abby birthday!
  • Happy birthday to a real friend of mine. In this day and age, those are harder to find than eggs, so you should definitely feel accomplished!
  • It’s your (birthday) party and you’ll cry if you want to, though I don’t recommend it. We’ll be taking loads of pics tonight and you don’t want to streak your mascara.
  • Statistics show that those who have the most birthdays live the longest. You’re doing pretty well!
  • Happy Birthday, queen! You definitely don’t look a day older than the age you tell people you are.
  • You’re a really hard individual to shop for… so I didn’t get you anything. Happy birthday!
  • The best part of being older is that you did most of your stupid stuff before social media. Cheers to another trip around the sun!

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